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conflict

magic ratio

The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to Science

Kyle Benson

That “magic ratio” is 5 to 1. This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions.

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take a break

Love Smarter by Learning When to Take a Break

Kerry Lusignan

Breaks give you time to calm down, deepen your perspective, and have a successful “do-over” with your partner.

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How to Repair the Little Things So They Don’t Become Big Things

The Gottman Institute

Happy couples repair, and they do so early and often.

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pursue-withdraw pattern

Breaking the Pursue-Withdraw Pattern: An Interview with Scott R. Woolley, Ph.D.

Kyle Benson

The pursue-withdraw pattern is an extremely common cause of divorce. If left unresolved, it will continue into a second marriage and subsequent intimate relationships.

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image of couple on their porch talking earnestly

Reaching a Compromise: The Second Part of the State of the Union Meeting

Kyle Benson

The first step in problem-solving is to identify your core needs.

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Understanding Each Other: The First Part of the State of The Union Meeting

Kyle Benson

Each partner will be given a time to speak and a time to listen as you work through the different stages of your disagreement.

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Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner’s Feelings

Kyle Benson

Instead of trying to change or fix the feelings of the person you love, focus on connecting with them.

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image of couple talking and smiling while looking a nice view together

Transforming Criticism into Wishes: A Recipe for Successful Conflict

Kyle Benson

For conflict conversations to succeed, you must state your feelings as neutrally as possible and transform any complaint about your partner into a positive need.

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There Are Two Views to Every Conflict and Both Are Valid

Kyle Benson

You don't have to agree, but you do need to show respect for your partner's opinions.

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Help Your Partner Understand Your Side of the Conflict in 3 Steps

Kyle Benson

Here's how to get your partner to attune to you during conflict.

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Couples Weekly Meeting

How to Strengthen Your Relationship with State of the Union Meetings

Kyle Benson

When couples meet once a week for an hour, it drastically improves their relationship.

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