Conflict Management

If you want to stop arguing all the time, avoid these mistakes

When your desires are in conflict, reconsider what you both really need.

The one conversation you must have every week for a healthy relationship

Tuning into yourself can help you repair after conflict.

What does "accepting influence" mean?

Is your fight-or-flight response keeping you stuck in an unhealthy cycle of conflict?

You can do more than "agree to disagree." Learn how to communicate with shared humanity and boundaries in mind.

How can you practice listening in ways that helps your relationship effectively move through whatever challenge it’s facing?

You may not even be aware of how you are acting or speaking out of contempt—often it can feel like you are being genuine. Dr. John Gottman realized there needs to be a path that leads to a culture of appreciation, and that is by expressing your feelings and longings.

Listen to the women. Listen to the people of color.

While all couples need autonomy and closeness, many partners struggle with the pursuer-distancer dance and feel chronically dissatisfied with their degree of intimacy. When the pattern of pursuing and distancing becomes ingrained, the behavior of one partner provokes and maintains the behavior of the other.

When you are trying to get your point across, it is not helpful to scream louder or longer. That is a waste of time and energy—time and energy better spent reviewing the perspectives of both parties involved.