The Archives

The Mechanics of Bidding: Messages You Don’t Even Know You’re Sending

Ellie Lisitsa

Pay attention to how you and your partner interpret each other’s responses to bids, so that you learn exactly how to create positive change in your relationship.

A Deeper Look Into Turning Away From Your Partner

Ellie Lisitsa

Though it may not seem to make an impact on your emotional connection, the build-up of these moments can incur damage over time.

A Deeper Look Into Turning Towards Your Partner

Ellie Lisitsa

Here are the different ways you can "turn towards" your partner's bids.

Managing Stress from Within Your Relationship

The Gottman Institute

Reduce stress in your relationship by reassessing the state of your partnership.

How to Set Goals for Self-Care

Ellie Lisitsa

Set goals, big and small, to take care of yourself and watch both you and your relationships get a boost of energy.

Building Trust In Stressful Times

Ellie Lisitsa

If you establish positive rapport, you and your partner can make leaps and bounds towards the establishment of trust.

Avoiding Loss Aversion In Arguments

Ellie Lisitsa

Loss aversion is what happens when partners invest so much into their disputes that neither one can stand the thought of losing.

Mindfulness in Emotional Moments

Ellie Lisitsa

Watch how mindfulness allows you to increase your attention to mechanisms underlying the formation of stable, satisfying relationships.

An Introduction to Emotional Bids and Trust

Ellie Lisitsa

Turning toward your partner's bids for emotional connection builds trust in your relationship.

Expressing Compassion and Empathy

Ellie Lisitsa

Intimate conversation requires you to lean into your partner's pain before you offer advice or try to help.

Following Up With Statements That Deepen Connection

Ellie Lisitsa

When you can reflect what your partner is sharing, you encourage them to open up more and intimacy follows.

Put Feelings Into Words and Ask Open-Ended Questions

Ellie Lisitsa

Enjoy more intimate conversations by learning to label your emotions and asking questions that beg for a detailed response.

A Happier Relationship Starts Today

Subscribe to Gottman Love Notes and get regular relationship tips and resources from the experts, plus a monthly free couples exercise and access to special pricing on Gottman products.