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Column

pursue-withdraw pattern

Breaking the Pursue-Withdraw Pattern: An Interview with Scott R. Woolley, Ph.D.

Kyle Benson

The pursue-withdraw pattern is an extremely common cause of divorce. If left unresolved, it will continue into a second marriage and subsequent intimate relationships.

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Small Things Often Create Secure Attachments: An Interview With Amir Levine, M.D.

Small Things Often Create Secure Attachments: An Interview With Amir Levine, M.D.

Kyle Benson

One of the most effective ways of regulating our emotions when we are in distress is to be in proximity to someone that we’re securely attached to.

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Strengthen your child's emotional intelligence

How to Strengthen Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence

Parent Co.

Children need the experience of feeling emotions and practice tolerating them to develop self-control and emotional intelligence.

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image of couple on their porch talking earnestly

Reaching a Compromise: The Second Part of the State of the Union Meeting

Kyle Benson

The first step in problem-solving is to identify your core needs.

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Understanding Each Other: The First Part of the State of The Union Meeting

Kyle Benson

Each partner will be given a time to speak and a time to listen as you work through the different stages of your disagreement.

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Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner’s Feelings

Kyle Benson

Instead of trying to change or fix the feelings of the person you love, focus on connecting with them.

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Understanding must precede advice. Image of couple walking on the beach and talking happily.

Understanding Must Precede Advice

Kyle Benson

Learn how to use conflict as an opportunity to understand and get to know each other better is a vital part of attunement.

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How to Attract Your Ideal Client as a Gottman Couples Therapist: An Interview with Joe Sanok, MA, LLP, LCC, Part II

Kyle Benson

A detailed knowledge of who you want to attract helps you decide where you dedicate your energy and time.

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image of couple talking and smiling while looking a nice view together

Transforming Criticism into Wishes: A Recipe for Successful Conflict

Kyle Benson

For conflict conversations to succeed, you must state your feelings as neutrally as possible and transform any complaint about your partner into a positive need.

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There Are Two Views to Every Conflict and Both Are Valid

Kyle Benson

You don't have to agree, but you do need to show respect for your partner's opinions.

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Help Your Partner Understand Your Side of the Conflict in 3 Steps

Kyle Benson

Here's how to get your partner to attune to you during conflict.

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Practice of the Practice: An Interview with Joe Sanok, MA, LLP, LCC

Kyle Benson

Joe Sanok, MA, LLP, LCC interview on what a therapist needs to know before opening a private practice.

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