The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW  //  

While all couples need autonomy and closeness, many partners struggle with the pursuer-distancer dance and feel chronically dissatisfied with their degree of intimacy. When the pattern of pursuing and distancing becomes ingrained, the behavior of one partner provokes and maintains the behavior of the other.

Stepping Back to Save My Stepfamily

Real Relationships  //  

All of the constructs I grew up with and believed I would carry on in my own family had to be thrown out the window. As much as I would like one, there is no guide on how to be a stepfamily—we are all too different.

My Sexual Fluidity Woke Me Up

Real Relationships  //  

Judgments dehumanise and minimise the beautiful greyness of being human.

Reclaiming Our Stories From Trauma

Jenny TeGrotenhuis, LMHC  //  

Our past may have written the script, but we can write a new script for how we respond in the present.

Gottman Love and Sexuality Glossary

The Gottman Institute  //  

Our guide on combining forms used to express different types of love and relationships, and how you may see them used.