Love Quiz: How Positively Do You View Your Partner?

Access the level of positivity in your relationship.

Access the level of positivity in your relationship.

Access the level of positivity in your relationship.

How Positively Do You View Your Partner

Ninety-four percent of the time, couples who put a positive spin on their relationship’s history and their partner’s character are likely to have a happy future. These couples regularly update their Love Maps, deepen their fondness and admiration, and turn toward each other. Friendship is the essence of a lasting and happy relationship because it is the key to staying in the Positive Perspective.

Dr. Gottman refers to the Positive Perspective as Positive Sentiment Override because, in relationships that succeed, the positive overrides the negative. It is a profound force that maintains trust and gives each partner the benefit of the doubt when conflicts inevitably occur. They perceive each other’s acts as positive and don’t take their partner’s negative emotions personally. Most unhappy couples are in Negative Sentiment Override, which is a way of saying they have a tendency to perceive harmless or neutral comments as negative.

Negative Sentiment Override is built on the belief that your partner is not just thoughtless on occasion, but thoughtless in general. As a result, it rewrites the “Story of Us” with a persistent negative spin, putting the relationship at risk.

The following quiz will help you assess your current level of Positive Perspective and determine whether it could use some attention.

  • When my partner is in a bad mood I usually...

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Kyle is a couples therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist.  He loves nerding out on the science of relationships. When not highlighting research on a Sunday morning in his bathrobe, Kyle enjoys writing for his blog where he takes the research on successful relationships and transforms them into practical tools for romantic partners.