94% of the time, couples who put a positive spin on their relationship’s history and their partner’s character are likely to have a happy future. These couples regularly update their Love Maps, deepen their fondness and admiration, and turn toward each other. Friendship is the essence of a lasting and happy relationship because it is the key to staying in the Positive Perspective.

Dr. Gottman refers to the Positive Perspective as Positive Sentiment Override because in relationships that succeed, the positive overrides the negative. It is a profound force that maintains trust and gives each partner the benefit of the doubt when conflicts inevitably occur. They perceive each other’s acts as positive and don’t take their partner’s negative emotions personally. Most unhappy couples are in Negative Sentiment Override, which is a way of saying they have a tendency to perceive harmless or neutral comments as negative.

Negative Sentiment Override is built on the belief that your partner is not just thoughtless on occasion, but thoughtless in general. As a result, it rewrites the Story of Us with a persistent negative spin, putting the relationship at risk.

The following quiz will help you assess your current level of Positive Perspective and determine whether it could use some attention.

  • When my partner is in a bad mood I usually...

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Love Quiz: How Positively Do You View Your Partner?

Kyle Benson is an Intentionally Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research-based tools to build long-lasting relationships. Kyle is best known for his compassion and non-judgmental style and his capacity to see the root problem.