How to Listen Without Getting Defensive
Here's the key to listening non-defensively.
Kyle's Posts
How to Stress-Proof Your Relationship This Holiday Season
Cultivate an attitude of gratitude around your partner and loved ones during the holidays.
The Negativity Thermostat: Why Adjusting the Temperature Early Can Save Your Relationship Later
The secret to keeping things comfortable, calm, and connected is to address the uncomfortable issues that pull you two apart.
How to Find a Couples Therapist Who Can Actually Help You
Tips to help you find a competent and effective couples therapist.
Is it Time to Go to Couples Counseling?
There are telltale signs that signal you and your partner could benefit from couples counseling.
5 Steps to Inspire Your Partner to Join You in Attending Couples Therapy
When approaching your partner about attending couples therapy, you are likely to meet resistance. Work past their resistance with these tips.
How We Used the Aftermath of a Fight to Repair Our Relationship
Every conflict offers an opportunity for a deeper understanding.
Understanding Your Partner’s Attachment Style: An Interview with Stan Tatkin
The environment of our upbringing influences the way we love and expect to be loved.
Attachment and Differentiation in Relationships: An Interview with Ellyn Bader, Ph.D.
Differentiation requires the risk of being open to growth and being honest not only with your partner, but also with yourself.
The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to Science
That “magic ratio” is 5 to 1. This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions.
Stable Instability in Relationships: An Interview with Amir Levine Part II
If you can recognize secure partners early on while dating, you’ll navigate the dating world much better and likely find yourself in a secure relationship.
Breaking the Pursue-Withdraw Pattern: An Interview with Scott R. Woolley, Ph.D.
The pursue-withdraw pattern is an extremely common cause of divorce. If left unresolved, it will continue into a second marriage and subsequent intimate relationships.
The Grass is Greener Where You Water It
Building trust and commitment requires intentional effort. Here are fives ways to invest in your relationship.
Small Things Often Create Secure Attachments: An Interview With Amir Levine, M.D.
One of the most effective ways of regulating our emotions when we are in distress is to be in proximity to someone that we’re securely attached to.
Reaching a Compromise: The Second Part of the State of the Union Meeting
The first step in problem-solving is to identify your core needs.
Understanding Each Other: The First Part of the State of The Union Meeting
Each partner will be given a time to speak and a time to listen as you work through the different stages of your disagreement.
Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner’s Feelings
Instead of trying to change or fix the feelings of the person you love, focus on connecting with them.
Understanding Must Precede Advice
Learn how to use conflict as an opportunity to understand and get to know each other better is a vital part of attunement.
How to Attract Your Ideal Client as a Gottman Couples Therapist: An Interview with Joe Sanok, MA, LLP, LCC, Part II
A detailed knowledge of who you want to attract helps you decide where you dedicate your energy and time.
Transforming Criticism into Wishes: A Recipe for Successful Conflict
For conflict conversations to succeed, you must state your feelings as neutrally as possible and transform any complaint about your partner into a positive need.
There Are Two Views to Every Conflict and Both Are Valid
You don't have to agree, but you do need to show respect for your partner's opinions.
Help Your Partner Understand Your Side of the Conflict in 3 Steps
Here's how to get your partner to attune to you during conflict.
Practice of the Practice: An Interview with Joe Sanok, MA, LLP, LCC
Joe Sanok, MA, LLP, LCC interview on what a therapist needs to know before opening a private practice.
How to Strengthen Your Relationship with State of the Union Meetings
When couples meet once a week for an hour, it drastically improves their relationship.
How Being Nuanced with Your Emotions Enhances Your Well-Being: An Interview with Susan David, Ph.D., Part II
Part II with Susan David, Ph.D. “This is what I’m feeling. What is my partner feeling?”
4 Typical Solvable Relationship Problems
Here’s how to make everyday conflict less draining.
Repair is the Secret Weapon of Emotionally Connected Couples
All couples argue. Successful couples repair.
5 Simple Ways to Make Sex More Romantic
Couples who have a great sex life life make sex a priority rather than the last item of a long to-do list.
How Emotional Agility Improves Relationships: An Interview with Susan David, Ph.D.
We sat down with Susan David, Ph.D. to discuss the importance of emotional agility in relationships.
The Best Gottman Relationship Articles of 2016
Here are the 10 most read Gottman Relationship Blog articles from the past year.
Couples That Talk About Sex Have Better Sex
The less direct you are about what you want, the less likely you are to get it.
Love Quiz: How Do You Tell the Story of Your Relationship?
All couples have a story. What's yours?
6 Hours a Week to a Better Relationship
These little things will make a huge impact on your relationship.
Love Quiz: Do You Trust Your Partner?
Dr. Gottman has established a way to mathematically evaluate trust in a relationship.
The One Daily Talk That Will Benefit Your Marriage
It's simpler than you think.
Love Quiz: Do You and Your Partner Have Shared Goals?
When you share goals, you create new meaning for your relationship.
Love Quiz: How Well Do You Repair Your Relationship?
All couples argue. Successful couples repair.
Love Quiz: How Positively Do You View Your Partner?
Access the level of positivity in your relationship.
The Anger Iceberg
Often when we are angry, there are other emotions hidden under the surface.
How Well Do You Connect Emotionally With Your Partner?
Turning toward your partner is the foundation of trust, emotional connection, and passionate sex.
Love Quiz: How Much Do You Admire and Respect Your Partner?
Assess the state of your fondness and admiration system.
Love Quiz: Do You Truly Know Your Partner?
Find out how well you truly know your partner.
5 Steps to Fight Better if Your Relationship is Worth Fighting For
Your future together can be bright even if your disagreements tend to be very negative.
Emotionally Intelligent Husbands Are Key to a Lasting Marriage
Men, you have the power to make or break a relationship.
Debunking 3 Myths About Money in Marriage
The path to a rich life is full of detours and myths that hold couples back from achieving the financial freedom they dream of.
6 Steps to Financial Freedom in Marriage
These six steps will help you achieve financial security and freedom in your marriage.
Automate Money in Your Marriage and Save Thousands
There’s a different mindset that can truly change how you view your expenses.
3 Betrayals That Ruin Relationships (That Aren’t Infidelity)
There are other forms of betrayal that can be just as damaging as an affair.
4 Steps to Overcome Financial Gridlock
Acknowledging and respecting each other’s deepest most personal hopes and dreams is key to saving and enriching your marriage.
Love Quiz: Is It Time to Leave Your Relationship?
When asked what advice he would give his younger self, Dr. Gottman said “Get out of bad relationships sooner.”
5 Rules for Having a Constructive Conflict Conversation About Money
These five rules will guide you to stop fighting about money and start connecting in your relationship.
3 Steps to Reconnect When You Feel Disconnected From Your Partner
Love is cultivated during the grind of everyday life.
Is Money Bankrupting Your Marriage?
Use money conflicts in your marriage to invest in each other.
4 Marriage Myths That Cause Divorce
These myths are not only false but also potentially destructive.
Arguments About Money Aren’t About Money
They are about our dreams, our fears, and our inadequacies.
The #1 Thing Couples Fight About
According to the Einstein of Love, Dr. John Gottman, the #1 thing couples fight about is nothing.