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Date Night in a Jar

A stash of date night ideas can present fun surprises for you and your partner when you want alone time to connect.

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Dr. John Gottman says, “The foundation of my approach is to strengthen the friendship that is at the heart of any marriage.” Friendship, according to Dr. Gottman, is the key to romance.

Keep the spark alive in your relationship even if adventures outside stop being an option with Date Night in a Jar.

Get together with your partner and come up with a list of things you both want to try such as takeout from a new local restaurant, movies on the “watchlist” of your favorite streaming service, socially distanced events to attend, projects around your home that you want to tackle as a couple, etc. Keep it updated as new ideas are brought up in everyday conversation. Put these ideas on little scraps of paper or write them on popsicle sticks. Then place your date night ideas into a jar and save them for your next date night together.

If “Date Night in a Jar” doesn’t really fit into the way that you and your partner interact, think of other ideas to surprise each other in a playful, romantic way. Remember: it is the small things done often that make the most difference in your relationship. You can introduce fun into your relationship in ways that feel more natural to you. Perhaps you could surprise your love with tokens: a “kiss” or a “massage” token.

You can give a sweet gift like this to your partner on any occasion, no need to wait for birthdays or holidays. Surprise them with something and rejuvenate your friendship and closeness. Creating great memories together and sharing laughter will help the two of you to build affection and fondness for each other. As the two of you have fun with each other, trust and support in your relationship will naturally follow.


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Ellie Lisitsa is a former staff writer at The Gottman Institute. She holds a PhD in Clinical Psychology.

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