As the weather gets warmer and canoodling couples take up residence on every available park bench, you may be thinking of turning up the heat in your own relationship. If so, you are not alone! Writer Lily White certainly had the subject in mind when she penned this hilarious and insightful New York Times piece titled, “Let’s Not Pretend to be Who We Aren’t.” We share it with you today in hopes to start a fruitful conversation about sex… to be continued in our next post! Today, enjoy Lily’s article, and take the following quiz — designed by Dr. John Gottman himself — to assess the quality of sex, romance, and passion in your relationship.

Note: These quizzes are intended to be psychoeducational. If you would like a full evaluation of your relationship, you can ask your therapist to invite you to complete the Gottman Relationship Checkup. If you’re not currently seeing a therapist, you can find one in your area on the Gottman Referral Network.


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Ellie Lisitsa is a staff writer at The Gottman Institute and a regular contributor to The Gottman Relationship Blog. Ellie is pursuing her B.A. in Psychology with an emphasis on Cognitive Dissonance at Reed College in Portland, Oregon.