When it comes to your problems as a couple, ditch defensiveness and learn how to accept responsibility for your role. Here's how.
Defensiveness is a wicked game. But it’s winnable.
Learn how to implicitly communicate with your partner
Part of taking care of yourself and your partner is learning how to avoid the use of criticism.
"Hold your horses" and learn why contempt and criticism won't get you what you want.
The last, but certainly not least, of the Four Horsemen is stonewalling.
Contempt is the worst of the four horsemen. It is the number one predictor of divorce, but it can be defeated.
Defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner.
The first of the Four Horsemen, and likely the most common, is criticism.
Luckily, for every Horseman of the Apocalypse, there is an antidote.
Being able to identify the Four Horsemen in your conflict discussions is a necessary first step to eliminating them and replacing them with healthy, productive communication patterns.
A fundamental principle of maintaining The Positive Perspective in your relationship is to let your partner influence you.