Zach Brittle, LMHC

Begin investing in the future of your relationship by exploring what it means to Make Life Dreams Come True.

I’m really excited to shine a light on the early stages of a relationship with a new series we’re calling “New Construction.” Over the next few months, I’ll use this space to speak to how the Gottman body of research informs new relationships, specifically pre-marrieds and newlyweds.

Here we are at Zed - the end of the alphabet. It’s been a pretty incredible experience working through these 26 topics and exploring a little bit of what I tend to think about relationships.

Yes is a word that does more than answer a question. It creates opportunity and invites possibility. 

My first exposure to pornography was over 30 years ago. It was in the basement of my childhood home where my dad stored a dusty stack of Playboy magazines.

What would you guess is the most common reason couples come into therapy? The lady who cuts my hair thinks it’s “affairs.” My neighbor thinks it’s “empty nest syndrome.” 

In case you missed it, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I’m not really sure how you could have missed it, however. 

I have to confess, when I opened up my column to your questions, I was really hoping to get a bunch of benign inquiries like: What’s your favorite novel?

John Gottman’s research revealed that about ⅔ of relationship problems are unsolvable. One of my favorite questions for couples is whether that statistic is discouraging orencouraging. 

Whenever I work with pre-marital couples, we spend a fair bit of time pondering whatever a marriage actually is. Is it a social contract? A political statement?

In my last post, I suggested an imaginary list of "Top 5 Regrets from the First Year of Marriage." There are at least five things I’d do differently, but I’m not actually sure “regrets” is the right word. 

Usually, when two people get married, they stand up in front of their friends and family and they make a promise to stick together, no matter what. For better and for worse.

"Love" is the obvious word here. But with all due respect to love, it’s probably a little too obvious for my tastes. Don’t get me wrong, I love love, but it often clouds the real issue at the heart of a relationship.

My first kiss was with an older woman. Older at least in the sense that she could drive and I couldn’t. It was after a football game one Friday night. 

J is an eight-point Scrabble letter. Only Q and Z are worth more. Turns out there simply aren’t a lot of words that start with J. 

Initially, I planned to write about Integrity. The word gets thrown around a lot in conversations about good behavior. 

When I was in the ninth grade, I saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit six times in the movie theater. I have probably watched it at least once a year since then.

Do you “give thanks” before meals? If so, to whom? Or to what? Does it matter? If you don’t give thanks, why not?

I was in a job interview a while back when the interviewer asked me, “What three words would your best friend use to describe you.” I like the question, but it took me a moment or two to respond.

E is for Empathy. I’m obsessed with empathy lately. It’s hard to define exactly what “lately” is, but it’s been floating around my mind for a better part of a year.