The Six Second Kiss

Do you have six seconds to improve your relationship?

How long do you share a kiss with your partner?

How long do you share a kiss with your partner?

Six Second Kiss

How long do you share a kiss with your partner? You’ve probably never timed it before.  Try setting your phone’s stopwatch to six seconds. Does it feel longer than you thought? 

Quick kisses vs mindful kisses

Most kisses shared may be short and sweet. Perhaps you are running off to work, in the middle of cooking, or about to go to sleep. Lengthening kisses to six seconds could be a key to a better relationship. 

Dr. John Gottman says it’s long enough to make a moment of connection with our partner. It stops the busyness in your brain and puts your focus on your partner at that moment. Kissing can be a good exercise in mindfulness.

There are a lot of Gottman principles we recommend using on a daily basis with your partners. I think the six second kiss is the easiest. There doesn’t have to be talking, listening, or problem-solving. It’s just a time to connect with your partner physically and feel close to them. It also accomplishes a lot of principles and needs in our relationship in only six seconds.

What the six second kiss can do for you

Here are some things a six second kiss can do:

Final thought

The more you practice an elongated kiss, it can also become a habit. A six second kiss is one of the least time-consuming ways to improve things with your partner. In fact, if you have two kisses per day the total time per week amounts to less than 90 seconds.

So, keep kissing. It has the potential to benefit the overall health of your relationship. 

More than 1 million monthly readers look to The Gottman Relationship Blog for proven advice from mental health professionals to build happy and lasting relationships. Subscribe below to receive our blog articles in your inbox every week.

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Kari Rusnak manages her telehealth private practice and is currently licensed in Mississippi, Colorado, and Utah. Kari is a Board Certified Telemental Health Provider and trained in EMDR. She is a Certified Gottman Therapist and her practice focuses on LGBTQ+, those in open/poly relationships, chronic pain, and sexual health. Visit her website at