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The Best Gottman Relationship Articles of 2016

Here are the 10 most read Gottman Relationship Blog articles from the past year.

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In many ways, 2016 was a big year for the Gottman Relationship Blog. We launched a fresh new look, increased our publishing frequency, and brought on contributors that shared many valuable lessons and insights.

Here are the 10 most read Gottman Relationship Blog articles from the past year.

10. Learning to Love Again After an Affair by Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW
Recovering from an affair is complex as regaining trust offers extreme challenges for both partners, but there is reason to be hopeful. The “Gottman Trust Revival Method” can help you recommit to a healthy, trusting relationship after infidelity.

9. 6 Steps to Mindfully Deal With Difficult Emotions by Toni Parker, Ph.D.
The ever-increasing pressures of technology and society at large, can really take a toll on your marriage. As a result, difficult emotions like anger, confusion, fear, loneliness, and sadness, just to name a few, can arise. The key to overcoming these difficult emotions is mindfulness! Practicing mindfulness enables you to calm down and soothe yourself. Giving you the space to reflect and thoughtfully respond, rather than react.

8. 3 Daily Habits That are Better for Your Marriage Than an Exotic Vacation by Verily
According to psychologist Dr. John Gottman of the famed “Love Lab,” lasting love is fed by little, everyday moments of connection. That’s right: the quality of love in your relationship is determined in the daily grind, not on that all-inclusive Mexican vacay.

7. The #1 Thing Couples Fight About by Kyle Benson
Dr. John Gottman’s research has shown that the #1 thing couples fight about is nothing.

6. 4 Things to Never Say to a Woman by Dr. John Gottman
Research has consistently shown that what men do in a relationship is, by a large margin, the crucial factor that separates a great relationship from a failed one. If you’re ready to understand what it is women want and need, how to best provide it, and what it takes to be in a happy, loving relationship with a woman for a lifetime, then let’s start with the four things to never say to her.

5. Debunking 12 Myths About Relationships by Dr. John Gottman
Many myths about relationships are not only false but potentially destructive. They are dangerous because they can lead couples down the wrong path, or worse, convince them that their marriage is a hopeless case. The notion that you can save your relationship just by learning to communicate more sensitively is probably the most widely held misconception about happy marriages, but it’s hardly the only one.

4. 3 Betrayals That Ruin Relationships (That Aren’t Infidelity) by Kyle Benson
Anything that violates a committed relationship’s contract of mutual trust, respect, and protection can be disastrous. Betrayals are founded on two building blocks: deception and a yearning for emotional connection from outside the relationship.

3. 3 Steps to Reconnect When You Feel Disconnected From Your Partner by Kyle Benson
Love is cultivated during the grind of everyday life. It’s the seemingly meaningless little moments of connection that are the most meaningful of all.

2. An Open Letter on Porn by Drs. John & Julie Gottman
Research on the effects of pornography use, especially one person frequently viewing pornographic images online, shows that pornography poses a serious threat to intimacy and relationship harmony. This moment calls for public discussion, and we want our readers around the world to understand what is at stake.

1. Emotionally Intelligent Husbands Are Key to a Lasting Marriage by Kyle Benson
In a long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, Dr. John Gottman discovered that men who allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce. Accepting influence is both a mindset and a skill cultivated by paying attention to your spouse every day.

Staff Picks

We polled our staff about their personal favorites from the past year and came up with more articles you might also consider reading.

The One Daily Talk That Will Benefit Your Marriage by Kyle Benson
A simple, effective way for couples to earn deposits in their emotional bank account is to reunite at the end of the day and talk about how it went. We call this the “How was your day, dear?” conversation, or more formally, the Stress-Reducing Conversation.

How to Rescue Your Marriage From Empty Nest Syndrome by Jon Beaty
While an empty nest can feel lonely, the transition offers couples an opportunity to renew their vows of connection and intimacy – one chapter has ended but another has just begun.

Conflict is a Normal and Natural Part of Your Happily Ever After by Aaron & April Jacob
If you practice these six skills from Dr. Gottman and learn to manage conflict in positive and healthy ways, then happily ever after can be yours today and everyday as you recognize conflict for what it is – an opportunity to learn, grow, progress, and live a full and meaningful life now.

What Do Women Really Want? By John Gottman
No other single thing in a man’s life will be as important as how he understands and responds to a woman’s emotions.

Thank you so much for reading in 2016. We look forward to another amazing year with you. Let us know what topics you want us to write about in 2017 here.

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Kyle is a couples therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist.  He loves nerding out on the science of relationships. When not highlighting research on a Sunday morning in his bathrobe, Kyle enjoys writing for his blog Kylebenson.net where he takes the research on successful relationships and transforms them into practical tools for romantic partners.

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