“So, how did the two of you meet?”
How you answer this question may have greater significance than you think.
All couples have a story to tell. There is a story about how you met, a story about your first fight, and a story about your wedding day. How couples share what Dr. Gottman calls the “Story of Us” determines whether their relationship is in the positive or negative perspective.
When you reflect on the story of your relationship, what do you think about? Is there more “me” than “we?” Is there more disappointment than satisfaction?
When the “Story of Us” is positive, a couple has a strong buffer against conflict and they tend to focus on their partner’s positive qualities. A negative “Story of Us” primes your brain to assume the worst about your partner.
Dr. Gottman found that couples either “glorify the struggle” by highlighting the good times in their relationship and by making light of the bad, or they focus on their disagreements and look back on them with resentment.
How would respond to statements like: “I love talking about the history of our relationship” and “there is a lot of fondness and affection between us”? Your responses can tell you a lot about your relationship and taking this brief quiz will tell you even more.
If you’d like to really learn how to improve your relationship the evidence-based Gottman Assessment takes under 20 minutes to complete and can give you deep insights into what’s happening in your relationship, taking you to the next level.