My Account
0

Everyday Ways to Reconnect and Nurture Your Relationship

When stress leads to tension in your relationship, find ways to cultivate fondness and admiration.
reconnect and nurture your relationship

Reconnect and nurture your relationship. With daily lives upended due to the pandemic, it’s understandable if your relationship receded into the background or feels fractured lately. 

After all, when stress strikes, romantic relationships are usually the first to suffer. Partners become last on the list as you give the bulk of your time, energy, and effort to work, kids, relatives, grocery shopping, laundry, and bills. 

Even when you are in the same space together, your frayed nerves might lead to snapping, saying things you regret, and seeing conflict where there is none, piling on additional tension.   

The solution? Cultivating fondness and admiration. Dr. John Gottman notes in “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” that fondness and admiration are “two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance.”

Of course, you might be wondering how you’re supposed to do that amidst completing a hundred tasks on your never-ending list.  Here are seven simple, but impactful ways to reconnect and cherish each other, even in a global pandemic. 

Mind your manners

Particularly when you feel overwhelmed, your manners can go out the window with your partner. You forget small, but significant words like “good morning,” “have a good day,” “please,” and “thank you.” A sincere greeting, kind wish, or show of gratitude can go a long way in fostering positive feelings on both sides. 

Make it a point to be polite and kind even when you’re frustrated with your partner. Don’t treat a stranger better than you treat your sweetheart.   

Share appreciative stories

Take a few minutes to reflect on one trait you appreciate about your partner and a story that illustrates that quality. Then let your partner know, whether that’s in person, over text, or in a quick email. Strive to share one story each day.     

Leave love notes

Using sticky notes, jot down a few sweet messages to your spouse. Surprise them by taping these notes on their steering wheel, bathroom mirror, their coffee mug, or any other place they’d really appreciate a loving gesture, particularly if it’s currently a source of stress (like their work laptop).  

Need help finding the perfect note? Let The Gottman Institute help. Order our Sound Relationship Postcards today!

Go down memory lane

For just several minutes, reminisce with your partner about the start of your romantic relationship. Talk about your first date—the nerves, excitement, funny moments—and what led you to fall in love with each other.  

Get artsy

As you’re busy, you may rarely look at your partner, even when you’re talking to each other. To reconnect, set a timer for 10 minutes and draw each other’s faces. Yes, even if it’s been decades since you’ve picked up a crayon. The key here is to give your spouse the gift of your time, complete attention, and admiration—to say, I see you.

Add a positive thought

As stress levels lead to disconnection, it’s easier to zero in on negative traits and everything your partner is not doing, which further expands the distance between you. To counteract the negativity, follow up a critical thought with a positive one. 

This can be anything such as “I love my partner’s eyes,” “I appreciate that they support my goals,” or “I’m grateful that we have the same values.” 

Share a gratitude journal

To further express your gratitude, dedicate a notebook for writing down what you appreciate about each other. For example, every night, each person jots down something like: “I’m grateful that you made dinner.” Then at the end of the month, read it together, growing your appreciation, and your relationship. 

Honoring each other doesn’t require grand, complicated gestures. In times of stress and uncertainty, often simply noticing and appreciating your partner is powerful in bringing you closer and helping you reconnect and nurture your relationship.

Show how much you care. Order the Sound Relationship Postcards and send them to the ones you love.

Share this post:

Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S., is a Florida-based freelance writer who specializes in psychology, mental health, and wellness. She’s passionate about giving readers simple, effective tools for feeling less stressed and cultivating relationships and lives that fulfill them.  Learn more about Margarita at her website, and connect with her on LinkedIn.

Recommended products

Original price was: $15.00.Current price is: $10.00.

Send love near and far! Based on the Gottmans’ Sound Relationship House model, this set of postcards provides 32 opportunities to say “I love you,” “I miss you,” or “I’m thinking of you.”

Original price was: $119.00.Current price is: $79.00.

Research-based Foundations for a Lifetime of Love.  The Gottman Relationship Coach is an inspiring and educational multimedia experience designed to enhance the well-being of relationships. Participants will be guided through research-based tools and communication skills that can transform relationships—all based on the popular Gottman Method. The first program, “How to Make Your Relationship Work”, is now available and includes:

  • The Gottman Method and How to Make Your Relationship Work
  • How do we predict the future of a relationship?
  • How to build a Sound Relationship House
  • What to do when the destructive Four Horsemen enter your relationship

“Buy Now” will take you to GOTTMAN CONNECT to purchase and view this product.

$30.00

Improve your relationship in 30 days! Backed by over 50 years of research, the 30 Days to a Better Relationship challenge will help you reconnect with your partner and bring more positivity into your relationship. The tools and exercises, delivered once a day for 30 days by email, build on one another and take five minutes or less to complete.

 

Related posts

reconnect and nurture your relationship

Creating and Sustaining a Culture of Appreciation in Difficult Times

Terry Gaspard

How you appreciate each other is a buffer for life's stressors. ...

Read More

Friendship

5 Tips to Keep the Friendship Alive

Genesis Games

Can you be friends and lovers? Yes! ...

Read More

Showing Your Gratitude

The Gifts of Showing Your Gratitude for Each Other

Dana McNeil

How a simple “thank you” can create connection ...

Read More

Busy Couples Guide to Fondness and Admiration

The Busy Couple’s Guide to Sharing Fondness and Admiration

Lisa Sturm

Don’t get so busy that you forget to show how much you care ...

Read More

How to Bond with Your Child by Sharing Fondness and Admiration

Melissa Benaroya

Connect with your kids by showing them how much you care ...

Read More

Fondness Admiration Intimacy

Fondness, Admiration, and Intimacy

Kimberly Panganiban

If you feel like the honeymoon phase is over, you can bring back the magic. ...

Read More

Sign up for the email newsletter you are most interested in and start your Gottman journey today!