Finding the Right Online Therapy Format for Your Relationship

By 2024, online therapy had moved from emergency option to default category for many couples. The question that persisted under all the convenience — does the format actually work as well as the in-person version — was being studied even as couples were already using it. Some of the recent answers, including a 2024 Norwegian study of the Gottman Seven Principles program delivered in both formats, suggest the gap may be smaller than once assumed.

The harder question, on closer look, may not be online versus in-person at all. It may be what kind of therapy is being delivered. And by whom.

What is online therapy and how does it work?

What does it actually look like? For most couples, it looks like this: a laptop on the kitchen table, two people on a couch, a therapist on the screen. Live video. A secure platform. The same kind of conversation that used to happen in an office.

Some providers add text-based check-ins. Some are asynchronous. Some are hybrids. The mechanics, in other words, tend to follow the in-person template — just routed differently.

But that is the surface answer. Underneath sits a question most couples skip over until they have already started: what kind of therapy is actually being delivered? Format and method are independent dimensions. A couple may be offered video sessions with a therapist trained in any of dozens of approaches — and the choice of approach may matter as much as the choice of format.

Who is online therapy suitable for?

For many couples, online formats remove the obstacles that quietly kept them out of therapy in the past. Geography. Scheduling. The logistics of two adults trying to be free at the same hour.

There is also some early evidence that the format itself does not appear to dilute the work. The 2024 Norwegian study of the Gottman Seven Principles Couple Enhancement Program (Zahl-Olsen, Thuen, et al., Journal of Marital and Family Therapy) found roughly comparable improvements in relationship quality across both online and in-person delivery — in a sample of 490 participants. The authors call the results promising rather than definitive.

Parents

For parents in the years of small children, shift work, or evening care needs, online sessions may make therapy reachable for the first time. The format can also let one partner travel without breaking continuity.

Couples

For couples at distance, online may not be a compromise but the only realistic format. It can also reach couples in crisis quickly, before patterns harden further.

Singles

For singles working on relationship patterns ahead of, or between, partnerships, online individual sessions and workshops may offer a private, low-friction place to begin.

Are online therapists licensed?

This is the question most couples ask first, and reasonably so. The short answer: yes. Reputable online providers use licensed clinicians — marriage and family therapists, professional counselors, psychologists, or clinical social workers — each holding a state license that requires a graduate degree, supervised clinical hours, examinations, and ongoing continuing education to maintain.

Beyond that, the question that often shapes what a session actually looks like is whether a clinician has trained in a specific method. Gottman Method Couples Therapy, for example, follows a research-backed structure across Levels 1, 2, and 3, with certification as a Certified Gottman Therapist as the final step. License and method, together, can make a real difference in what happens once the session begins.

For couples looking for that combination — online access and a research-backed method — the Gottman Referral Network lists Gottman-trained therapists who offer online sessions. The Couples Find a Therapist page is the consumer entry point. For couples not yet ready to engage a clinician, the Gottman Relationship Adviser offers a self-guided assessment and a personalized roadmap, drawn from the same body of research.

The format, in time, may well prove the more neutral of the two variables. The method is what each couple gets to live with. Sign up for the Gottman blog newsletter for ongoing research-backed insights and resources.