My Account
0

Research Reveals the Secret to “Happily Ever After”

If you think the way to eternal love is through grand gestures of romance and passion, think again.

Share this post:

If you think the way to eternal love is through grand gestures of romance and passion, think again.

Sure, love poems, romantic getaways, and surprise flowers are all wonderful for keeping your relationship happy, but the true secret lies in the small, every day moments.

Remember those first few months of dating? You would spend endless amounts of energy storing up all of those little quirks, likes, and dislikes of your new love. You would dissect everything he or she said, hungry for more.

What is her favorite restaurant? What is his favorite cologne? Does she like it when I tickle her here? How does he feel about me putting my hand on his leg here? It was young, fun, and exciting. It seemed effortless, and in a way, it was.

Unfortunately, this type of intoxicating persistence seems to dissipate drastically once complacency kicks in. But why should it?

If you think about happily ever after like your dream job, then you have to pursue it with a vengeance. Attack it fiercely and nurture it constantly. Think of your relationship as just as important as your life’s work. You’ll do anything and everything to make it happen. It is this intentional, insatiable quench for relationship success that makes love last.

So how do you “show up” everyday for your marriage and make it thrive, not just survive? Couples guru John Gottman says that the secret to happily ever after is by doing small things every day to show you care. Adopt the motto “small things often.”

Make your relationship your most passionate life pursuit by waking up each day and committing to each other. Acknowledge and respond to your partner in all the little ways.

Put your relationship on a pedestal and give it the attention, time, and effort it deserves.

This is the way to a “happily ever after” kind of love.


Subscribe below to receive our blog posts directly to your inbox.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Share this post:

April Eldemire is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Bringing Baby Home Educator, and couples expert in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She is passionately devoted to helping couples achieve thriving relationships. For information on a Bringing Baby Home workshop, counseling services, or to subscribe to her Tip Sheet, visit her website.

Recommended products

Image of Love Maps and Open Ended Card Decks set

$16.00

These cards enable partners to connect emotionally, and increase intimacy and understanding in a fun, gentle way.

Due to popular demand, this product is currently out of stock. 

Created by “the Einstein of Love” (Psychology Today), this two-day workshop is grounded on what actually works in relationships that are happy and stable. See for yourself why millions of couples worldwide have benefited from the Gottman Method.

Please Note: Due to concerns for the health and wellbeing of our customers and staff during the ongoing COVID-19 outbreak, we have cancelled all live events in 2020. 

Related posts

Improve your sex life by increasing you emotional intelligence and creating a plan for sex!

5 Tips to Improve Sex (from a Sex Therapist)

Kyle Benson

Improving sexual intimacy requires developing emotional and sexual intelligence. It also requires planning (even if that doesn't sound sexy!) ...

Read More

The power of playtime with dad

The Power of Playtime with Dad

Alexander Elguren

Studies show there are positive outcomes for toddlers who engage in playtime with their dads. ...

Read More

Father taking his daughter and son to school

Fatherhood’s Unexpected Silver Lining 

Alexander Elguren

How emotion coaching and tribal wisdom made this single dad thrive ...

Read More

setting boundaries

Setting Boundaries With Others

Hailey Magee

An excerpt from the book 'STOP People Pleasing and Find Your Power' published by Simon & Schuster. ...

Read More

Teenager on screen- part of an adolescent mental health crisis?

Should We Be Worried About Our Teenagers?

Alexander Elguren

The stats around adolescent mental health point to a crisis, but are things really that bad? ...

Read More

Authenticity in Relationships

Anna Aslanian

To create a close, intimate connection we need to be authentic in our relationship. However, this is easier said than done. ...

Read More

Subscribe to Gottman Love Notes

Sign up and start your relationship transformation. Subscribe and get the latest on relationships, therapy, and much more from the experts. Includes a free download and access to special pricing on Gottman products every month