How to Practice Self-Soothing

Ellie Lisitsa  //  

Remember: the ability to self-soothe is one of the most important skills you can learn. Practicing it can help you not only in romantic relationships, but in all other areas of your life.

The Four Horsemen: Stonewalling Part II

Ellie Lisitsa  //  

On Monday we introduced Stonewalling, Dr. Gottman’s fourth and fina horseman. It is our goal this week to help you understand this particularly destructive communication style and learn to manage it.

The Four Horsemen: Stonewalling

Ellie Lisitsa  //  

Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be totally unresponsive, making evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, acting busy, or engaging in obsessive behaviors.

The Four Horsemen: Contempt Weekend Homework Assignment

Ellie Lisitsa  //  

Today on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we would like to continue Wednesday's discussion on Fondness and Admiration, which are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance.

Four Horsemen: Contempt Part II

Ellie Lisitsa  //  

Today on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we would like to continue Monday's discussion on Horseman #3 Contempt.

The Four Horsemen: Contempt

Ellie Lisitsa  //  

Contempt is the worst of the four horsemen. It is the number one predictor of divorce, but it can be defeated.

The Four Horsemen: Defensiveness & Blind Spots

Ellie Lisitsa  //  

Happy Friday! We hope you have learned a lot about Defensiveness and its antidote in this week's postings. Today on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we would like to take the opportunity to share an excerpt from an article which cites our research.

The Four Horsemen: Defensiveness Part II

Ellie Lisitsa  //  

In healthy relationships, partners don’t get defensive when discussing an area of conflict. According to Dr. Gottman, they instead take responsibility for their role in the issue and express an interest in their partner's feelings.

The Four Horsemen: Criticism

Ellie Lisitsa  //  

The first of the Four Horsemen, and likely the most common, is criticism.