The Relationship Alphabet

Whenever I work with pre-marital couples, we spend a fair bit of time pondering whatever a marriage actually is. Is it a social contract? A political statement?

In my last post, I suggested an imaginary list of "Top 5 Regrets from the First Year of Marriage." There are at least five things I’d do differently, but I’m not actually sure “regrets” is the right word. 

Usually, when two people get married, they stand up in front of their friends and family and they make a promise to stick together, no matter what. For better and for worse.

"Love" is the obvious word here. But with all due respect to love, it’s probably a little too obvious for my tastes. Don’t get me wrong, I love love, but it often clouds the real issue at the heart of a relationship.

My first kiss was with an older woman. Older at least in the sense that she could drive and I couldn’t. It was after a football game one Friday night. 

J is an eight-point Scrabble letter. Only Q and Z are worth more. Turns out there simply aren’t a lot of words that start with J. 

Initially, I planned to write about Integrity. The word gets thrown around a lot in conversations about good behavior. 

When I was in the ninth grade, I saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit six times in the movie theater. I have probably watched it at least once a year since then.

I was in a job interview a while back when the interviewer asked me, “What three words would your best friend use to describe you.” I like the question, but it took me a moment or two to respond.

E is for Empathy. I’m obsessed with empathy lately. It’s hard to define exactly what “lately” is, but it’s been floating around my mind for a better part of a year.