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The Archives

The Trouble with Contempt

Ellie Lisitsa

Contempt to be the #1 predictor of divorce. What is contempt, and what makes this horseman the worst?

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Accepting Responsibility

Ellie Lisitsa

When it comes to your problems as a couple, ditch defensiveness and learn how to accept responsibility for your role. Here's how.

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Defensiveness: An Exclusive Interview With Drs. John & Julie Gottman

Ellie Lisitsa

Down-regulating one’s own defensiveness is the "work" in Making Relationships Work.

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Self Care: Defensiveness

Ellie Lisitsa

Defensiveness might seem like the cuddliest of the horsemen. It doesn’t attack... it didn’t mean it that way... and it certainly didn’t do anything wrong.

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What Healthy Couples Know About Handling Conflict

Ellie Lisitsa

Learn how to implicitly communicate with your partner

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Self-Care vs. Criticism

Ellie Lisitsa

Part of taking care of yourself and your partner is learning how to avoid the use of criticism.

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Support Each Other’s Dreams

Ellie Lisitsa

Do you keep your partner's life dreams in mind?

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C is for Contempt & Criticism

Zach Brittle, LMHC

"Hold your horses" and learn why contempt and criticism won't get you what you want.

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Homework Assignment: Connect With Your Friends

Ellie Lisitsa

These are Gottman-approved activities to bond with your friends

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Ways To Turn Towards Your Friends

Ellie Lisitsa

What makes you a great partner can also make you a good friend

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Dr. Gottman’s Guide to Recognizing Bids

Ellie Lisitsa

Bids come in all shapes and sizes. How can you be sure?

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Homework Assignment: Improve Your Relationship By Focusing on You

Ellie Lisitsa

Can meeting your needs help you be a better friend and lover?

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