Gottman Connect
Gottman Connect
A relationship well-being platform
Created by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, Affective Software, Inc., and The Gottman Institute, Gottman Connect is where professionals, their clients, other couples, and individuals are able to enjoy our latest, research-based assessment and well-being tools. The new Gottman Connect platform brings the assessment process online and provides resources to use through the therapeutic process.
GOTTMAN CONNECT was developed by Affective Software, Inc., a sister company of The Gottman Institute. Affective Software combines the Gottmans’ science with cutting edge expertise in software, AI and Machine Learning to deliver proven relationship assessment methods and intervention exercises on smartphones, tablets, and computers.
For Couples
The Gottman Connect platform is where you go to purchase and use the Gottman Relationship Coach and Adviser programs.
The Gottman Relationship Adviser is the world’s first complete relationship wellness tool for couples.
The Adviser takes the guesswork out of improving your relationship by measuring your relationship health with a research-based in-depth analysis, then generating a tailored digital plan proven to heal and strengthen your connection. Start building a happier relationship today!
Want just an assessment of your relationship health without the relationship improvement plan? Check out the Gottman Assessment, a virtual relationship evaluation tool for couples. This self-assessment tool provides you with a full snapshot of your relationship satisfaction, outlines your strengths and weaknesses, and supplies tailored recommendations for improvement.
How can you know you’re in a happy relationship that’s both good for your health and everyone around you? Can such a thing be measured? It can! Take this free quiz and find out how well you know your partner.
Gottman Relationship Coach
With proven strategies and informational content that you and your partner can work through at your own pace, the Gottman Relationship Coach can transform your relationship.
Commitment is a big step, but don’t worry! With more than 40 years of research into how relationships work, the Gottmans are here to give you the tools you need for happily ever after. When you’re ready to say “yes” to a lifetime of love together, it’s important to have conversations around trust, dreams, and shared meaning intentionally and productively. That’s what the Gottman Relationship Coach collection is all about!
Based on the popular Gottman Method, the Gottman Relationship Coach is an inspiring and educational multimedia experience designed to enhance the wellbeing of relationships. Let Drs. John and Julie Gottman guide you through science-based, relationship skill-building tools in a series of interactive videos, exercises, and card decks designed to inspire healthy communication and deeper connection
With proven strategies and informational content that you and your partner can work through at your own pace, the Gottman Relationship Coach can transform your relationship.
Commitment is a big step, but don’t worry! With more than 40 years of research into how relationships work, the Gottmans are here to give you the tools you need for happily ever after. When you’re ready to say “yes” to a lifetime of love together, it’s important to have conversations around trust, dreams, and shared meaning intentionally and productively. That’s what the Gottman Relationship Coach collection is all about!
If you’ve already purchased any products on GOTTMAN CONNECT you can sign in and view them here.
For Clinical Professionals Gottman Relationship Checkup
The Gottman Relationship Checkup is a key assessment tools for clinical professionals used by the Gottmans and 10,000 other clinical professionals. Using research-based algorithms, the Enhanced Relationship Checkup generates unique summary reports for both the clinician and the couple.
If you were familiar with the previous version of the Gottman Relationship Checkup you know about the benefits of an accurate assessment. The enhanced version further simplifies and improves the Gottman Method assessment process that provides you and your couples with personalized results and specific treatment recommendations.
We’ve added some of the most requested features, such as:
- Streamlined, precision questionnaire with 30% fewer questions
- All new Couples report, in addition to an improved Clinician report
- All new Reassessment functionality allows you to check progress over time
The Gottman Relationship Checkup is HIPAA compliant and there’s no charge to professionals to apply for an account and begin inviting couples. We think you’ll find the intuitive features easy to navigate.
The Enhanced Gottman Relationship Checkup has replaced the previous version of the Gottman Relationship Checkup. If you are looking for information from the previous version here’s what you need to know:
- You will still be able to access your account and all the data at www.checkup.gottman.com
- The two systems are not connected and you will need to log into them separately
- No new clinician accounts and new Couple invites are available in the previous version
- You will continue to have access to your historical data
Gottman Relationship Builder
Reduce Relapse and Provide More Lasting Therapy. Therapy can be challenging, and couples teletherapy can be doubly so. You’re managing a new relationship with two clients simultaneously while guiding them to improve their own – all in real time and across a screen. But what happens when the call ends and your clients go home?
For the first time ever, professionals like you can pair the insight of scientific Gottman assessments with the Gottman Relationship Builder, a tool designed to empower clinicians with Gottman Method content and the ability to share it with your clients.
New Gottman Love Lab
The famous Gottman Love Lab is available on the Gottman telehealth portal, Gottman Connect. In the all-new Gottman Love Lab experience, couples complete a questionnaire, then a video evaluation process provides an inside look into their relationship. This level of assessment is not available by other means.
If you are a clinical professional looking for more information on this exciting new product please visit this page and complete the form to learn more.
Gottman Love Notes
Gottman Love Notes
Gottman Love Notes is a research-based email newsletter for couples and individuals, featuring tips, products and more to help you connect better with your partner. Whether you’re new to Gottman or a big fan, we believe that you’ll find something interesting, relevant, or refreshing in the content featured in each issue of Love Notes.
A Happier Relationship Starts Today
Subscribe to Gottman Love Notes and get regular relationship tips and resources from the experts, plus a monthly free couples exercise and access to special pricing on Gottman products.
This Month’s Free Download
On your phone too much? Don’t let scrolling get in the way of love.
Try this gentle check-in to discuss how technology may be impacting your relationship, and how you can use it to support—not compete with—your connection.
Sign up for Love Notes to download this free resource!
Why Love Notes?
Relationships are hard work. Being “good” at loving other people doesn’t come naturally to most people, but it is a skill you can learn and practice. Love Notes are regular email reminders of how the decades of research behind The Gottman Institute and Gottman Method Couples Therapy inform everything we do. Love can be studied and the research can be applied to improve relationships right away. Take note.
We also provide relevant updates from the larger therapy community. This includes specialists who have applied our research to different types of relationships, individual therapy, and more throughout the mental health space. All in the name of helping people love each other and themselves better.
Looking for clinical content for therapists and other mental health and well-being professionals? Sign up for the Gottman Pro Newsletter and get updates on trainings, new courses, professional opportunities, and resources to help you dig deeper into Gottman Method Couples Therapy.
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For Immediate Help with Domestic Violence Call 1-800-799-7233 or Text LOVEIS to 22522
Violence Resources
Resources for victims of domestic violence
For immediate Help with Domestic Violence
Call 1-800-799-7233 or Text LOVEIS to 22522
Abuse is about power and control. When survivors are forced to stay in the home or in close proximity to their abuser more frequently, an abuser can use any tool to exert control over their victim. If you are looking for help, please contact these organizations below.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233
- TheHotline.org
- Staying safe During Covid-19 (English)
- https://espanol.thehotline.org/ (Spanish)
- National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673
- Provided by RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network). Available 24/7. Also available through online chat tool. En español.
- Provided by RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network). Available 24/7. Also available through online chat tool. En español.
- Crisis Text Line
- Text HOME to 741741, Available 24/7 for victims of abuse and any other type of crisis.
- Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
- 1-800-422-4453; Available 24/7 in 170 different languages.
- Office on Women’s Health Helpline
- 1-800-994-9662: A resource provided by the US Department of Health & Human Services.
- 1-800-994-9662: A resource provided by the US Department of Health & Human Services.
- Federal government
Women’s Health domestic violence - Resources for Recovery and Addiction:
- Online Addiction Recovery Resources: Free virtual recovery meetings during the COVID-19 pandemic
- Your Recovery is Important: Virtual Recovery Resources
Podcast appearances
Podcasts
Tune into Featured Podcasts with the Gottmans: Conversations to Strengthen Your Relationships.
Successful long-term relationships are created through small words, small gestures, and small acts. Every Monday and Wednesday morning, we’ll talk you through research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.
Small Things Often is an invitation to think small. It could make a big difference.
Listen to All "Small Things Often" Podcasts on your favorite music platform:
Conversations – Webinar Series
Conversations – Webinar Series
Access guidance on parenting, the transition to parenthood, and navigating emotional development during challenging times.
Live Webinars
All Live Webinars are recorded, and registrants will have access to the recording afterwards.
Couples will explore how their upbringing influences their parenting perspectives and learn how to navigate these differences in a way that strengthens, rather than strains, their relationship. You will gain practical tools to communicate more effectively, reduce criticism and defensiveness, and work together as a parenting team.
How do we help couples clarify their own definition of commitment? How do we differentiate between consensual exploration and attachment injury? This webinar will explore how couples construct and negotiate commitment — whether monogamous or consensually non-monogamous — and how therapists can guide that process with clarity and neutrality.
Recorded Webinars
For New Parents:
The Transition to Parenthood Webinar
This webinar provides an evidence-based and research-tested program to help prepare couples for life with a baby and the joys and challenges of parenthood. We cover challenges you’ll face in parenthood, how to gain relationship satisfaction, and how to create a healthy environment that promotes emotional and intellectual development. Buy now and get 50% off!
Emotion Coaching: The Heart of Relating to Tweens and Teens
This one-hour webinar covers the basics of neurobiological research related to emotional development and the teenage brain, the five steps of Emotion Coaching, and pressures and risky situations that are common with teens. Special emphasis is placed on how to help teens and parents navigate emotions during the coronavirus pandemic.
A Happier Relationship Starts Today
Subscribe to Gottman Love Notes and get regular relationship tips and resources from the experts, plus a monthly free couples exercise and access to special pricing on Gottman products.
Join the Gottman Pro Newsletter
Receive regular updates and clinical resources for professionals from the Gottman Institute.
John Gottman’s concept of “flooding” triggers the “fight or flight” response, risking conflict escalation or emotional disengagement. Subscribe for free resources on managing it in clients.
Wedding Gifts for a Lifetime of Love
Wedding Gifts for a Lifetime of Love
Wedding season is upon us, which means RSVPs, parties, and picking out the perfect gift. At The Gottman Institute, we believe in setting marriages and relationships up for success. So here are three gift ideas for that special couple in your life.
The Art & Science of Love Home Study
Carry newlyweds over the threshold into a lifetime of wedded bliss with our at-home workshop. This set includes all the tools and information to help couples increase friendship, intimacy, and meaning.
The Couples Retreat Board Game
Give a date night that’s fun, and helps the players fall even deeper in love! In this board game, everyone’s a winner.
52 Questions Before Marriage or Moving In Card Deck
This card deck contains over 52 thought-provoking questions to help couples discuss topics that are bound to come up, but they may have never explored together.
Couldn’t find what you were looking for?
Eight Dates
John Gottman, PhD and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD
Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD
From the country’s leading relationship experts, authors of the million-copy bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and founders of the world-renowned Love Lab, comes Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman.
This program of eight lively, conversation-based dates will result in a lifetime of understanding and commitment, whether you’re newly in love or have been together for decades.
Eight Dates is like having two of the world’s leading relationship scientists at your table coaching you on how to address the topics—from trust to money to dreams—that make or break relationships.
Welcome to date night.
In the Media
More Resources from The Gottman Institute
More Resources from The Gottman Institute
If you enjoy “Asking For a Friend,” you’ll love these free resources.
The Marriage Minute
The Marriage Minute is a free email newsletter from The Gottman Institute that will improve your relationship in 60 seconds or less. Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time.
Sign Up and Elevate Your Relationship in Just 60 Seconds
The Marriage Minute is an email newsletter from The Gottman Institute that can improve your relationship with a digestible, bi-weekly dose of helpful tips and tricks. Over 50 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create big changes over time.
The Gottman Relationship Blog
Get proven advice on how to build positive, happy, and lasting relationships sent directly to your inbox. Check out the blog here.
We'll Deliver The Blog To You
Make the most out of your relationships without lifting a finger. Well, maybe just one to subscribe. Get all you need to foster meaningful connections delivered straight to you, from heartwarming stories to evidence-based practices.
Gottman Love Lab and Marathon Therapy
Gottman Love Lab and Marathon Therapy
Stay updated on new trainings and courses in Gottman Method Couples Therapy.
In partnership with the Center for Relationship Wellness, founded by Certified Gottman Therapists Don and Carrie Cole, we’re now offering private Marathon Couples Therapy both in Seattle and online.
Marathon Couples Therapy is a dynamic alternative to traditional weekly sessions in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. It’s a condensed and focused approach to marriage counseling that will provide you with the time you need to address specific issues and get your relationship back on track. In this powerful therapy format, you’ll meet with a highly trained and experienced therapist for three consecutive days.
Couples that participate in Marathon Couples Therapy receive a scientific evaluation of their relationship from the Gottman Love Lab, the only one of its kind in the world. Our comprehensive relationship assessment will pinpoint the areas in which you can achieve the greatest growth so you can move forward to a place of strength, reconnection, and hope.
Gottman Love Lab Assessment
In partnership with the Center for Relationship Wellness, founded by Certified Gottman Therapists Don and Carrie Cole, we’re now offering private Marathon Couples Therapy both in Seattle and online.
Marathon Couples Therapy is a dynamic alternative to traditional weekly sessions in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. It’s a condensed and focused approach to marriage counseling that will provide you with the time you need to address specific issues and get your relationship back on track. In this powerful therapy format, you’ll meet with a highly trained and experienced therapist for either one day or three consecutive days, depending on your needs.
Couples that participate in Marathon Couples Therapy receive a scientific evaluation of their relationship from the Gottman Love Lab, the only one of its kind in the world. Our comprehensive relationship assessment will pinpoint the areas in which you can achieve the greatest growth so you can move forward to a place of strength, reconnection, and hope.
Then after that, we’ll help you identify an area of continuing disagreement in your relationship. We’ll video record your conversation so we can code your facial expressions and emotions, second by second. When you’re talking to each other, we’ll collect data to determine what’s going on in your bodies.
Based on all of this information, along with your responses to a comprehensive relationship questionnaire, we’ll do a mathematical analysis of your interaction patterns to simulate what your relationship will look like over time.
The Gottman Love Lab Director will walk you through the findings and what they mean, and will explain to you the specific changes you can make to generate the most effective improvements in your relationship.
At the conclusion of your day in the Gottman Love Lab, you will receive an extensive report outlining all of the interpreted data. If you are working with a local therapist, this report is an amazing tool to be able to share with them, giving them in-depth insight into how to best support you.
Marathon Couples Therapy
Following your day in the Gottman Love Lab, Marathon Couples Therapy is offered either for one day or for three consecutive days for six hours a day. In most cases, we recommend a three-day marathon. A one-day marathon is appropriate for couples seeking preventative care, couples with a solid relationship that have some minor issues to work out, and couples interested in premarital preparation.
You will have time to talk in depth about the struggles and challenges of the relationship that simply cannot happen in the tradition style of couples therapy. There is time to process past injuries that have never healed, and time to understand how these injuries have impacted the relationship. There is time to learn and practice new communication skills to help you have more productive conversations. There’s time to rebuild.
The therapist will provide an environment of safety for both partners. You will be treated with dignity and respect, without judgment, throughout the process. Couples who have experienced this form of therapy usually describe it as life-changing and transformative.
Marathon Couples Therapy offers some practical benefits as well. It’s a good fit for couples who want intensive therapy but don’t live in the vicinity of a Certified Gottman Therapist. It’s also a good fit for couples whose schedules do not allow for them to go to weekly therapy sessions. And finally, it’s a great fit for couples who need to get help immediately.
It is important, however, that you also understand the risks involved. Despite the “nuts and bolts” approach of this method, the Marathon Couples Therapy format may move you more quickly and intensely into the areas of difficulty to be addressed. Therefore, you and/or your partner may experience uncomfortable feelings like sadness, guilt, anxiety, anger, loneliness, and helplessness. Your therapy may also involve recalling unpleasant aspects of your history together and/or individually.
Upon completion of the therapy, we may recommend that Marathon Couples Therapy be followed by couples therapy conducted in your home locale. In some cases, coordination between your home locale therapist and us may be advisable. Your therapist will have you both sign a Release of Information form to allow for this exchange if further treatment is needed.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who is Marathon Couples Therapy suitable for?
Couples that participate in Marathon Couples Therapy receive a scientific evaluation of their relationship from the Gottman Love Lab in Seattle, the only one of its kind in the world.
Our comprehensive relationship assessment will pinpoint the areas in which you can achieve the greatest growth so you can move forward to a place of strength, reconnection, and hope.
Will you predict whether we will stay together or divorce?
This is a common question that we receive. The answer is no, we do not predict divorce.
The Gottman Method was created to change the trajectory of a couple’s relationship, not predict whether couples will divorce. The couples in the original studies did not have the benefit of this information to change their outcomes.
We’ve developed effective methods and resources to change predicted outcomes. We now teach tactics and tools to help you move your relationship into a more positive direction.
What technology do you use in the lab?
We use state-of-the-art wireless MP-160 physiological data collection equipment designed by Biopac Systems, Inc., in conjunction with innovative software and hardware developed by Noldus Information Technology.
We also use a 10-category emotion observational system designed by Dr. John Gottman called The Specific Affect Coding System (SPAFF). These systems enable us to observe, measure, and analyze behavior between a couple. Biopac Systems integrated the famous Gottman Rating Dial into the data collection equipment.
Who is Marathon Couples Therapy not suitable for?
Should you have any questions regarding the following issues, please contact us for clarification about whether Marathon Therapy is suitable for your situation. These issues are:
- If there is active alcohol and/or drug addiction on the part of either or both partners, from either partner’s perspective
- If there is serious violence in your relationship, threats by one or both partners that serious violence might occur, or fear of such serious violence on the part of one or both partners
- If either partner currently has an untreated major mental illness (schizophrenia, recurrent psychotic depression, or bipolar/manic-depressive illness.) Note: This does not include past, successfully treated psychotic episodes (e.g. post-partum depression with psychosis)
- If there is an undisclosed, current affair that you are not willing to disclose (such secrets predict marital therapy failure)
- If there is an ongoing affair and the partner having the affair is not willing to end it
- If either partner is currently experiencing suicidal or homicidal thoughts, or has a history of serious harm inflicted on him/herself or another person
Marathon Therapy pricing:
Four Day Program: $15,000 – $25,000
- Day 1: Love Lab Assessment
- Days 2 – 4: Marathon therapy sessions
Our Clinical Assistant will discuss options with you to best fit your needs. A deposit of 50% is required at the point of reservation and the remaining payment is due at the time of your appointment. Payment arrangements are made with our Clinical Assistant. Credit card or PayPal payment can be completed online or over the phone.
What’s your cancellation policy?
Cancellations can be made up to 30 days prior to your scheduled appointment with a $500 cancellation fee. Deposits are non-refundable within 30 days.
Your session can be rescheduled one time. However, the new date must be within 3 months of your original date.
Do you offer other options for couples seeking help?
Yes! We offer a popular weekend couples workshop called The Art and Science of Love. This workshop is shown to achieve results similar to those of 6 months of marital therapy.
In addition, you can find a Gottman-trained therapist in your area on the Gottman Referral Network.
Subscribe to the Blog
Subscribe to the Blog
The Gottman Relationship Blog publishes compelling and relevant science-based articles and personal stories about contemporary relationships, marriage, dating, parenting, and mental health.
More than 1 million monthly readers look to us for proven advice to build positive, happy, and lasting relationships, both romantic and otherwise. Subscribe below to receive our blog articles in your inbox every week.
Schedule Your Marathon Couples Therapy Appointment
Schedule Your Marathon Couples Therapy Appointment
Gottman Love Lab
Gottman Love Lab
"Since the 1980s, Gottman has brought more than three thousand married couples—just like Bill and Sue—into that small room in his "Love Lab" near the University of Washington campus... Can a marriage really be understood in one sitting? Yes it can, and so can lots of other seemingly complex situations. What Gottman has done is to show us how."
The Gottman Love Lab is the world’s original couples laboratory, first opened in 1986 at the University of Washington by Dr. John Gottman. More than 30 years after its inception, the Gottman Love Lab has been reimagined by The Gottman Institute for the high-tech modern age.
After putting thousands of marriages under a microscope, we now understand the science of relationships. Through groundbreaking mathematical models integrating nonlinear differential equations, we can reliably predict and chart the future course of a relationship. And more importantly, we are now able to provide data-driven suggestions for positively adjusting the course of a couple’s life together.
Gottman Love Lab Assessment
In partnership with the Center for Relationship Wellness, founded by Certified Gottman Therapists Don and Carrie Cole, we’re now offering private Marathon Couples Therapy in downtown Seattle. Couples that participate in Marathon Couples Therapy receive a scientific evaluation of their relationship from the Gottman Love Lab.
Our comprehensive relationship assessment will pinpoint the areas in which you can achieve the greatest growth so you can move forward to a place of strength, reconnection, and hope.
History of the Gottman Love Lab
Dr. John Gottman began systematically observing couples in his first lab at the University of Illinois in the 1970s.
In 1986, Gottman (right) and Robert Levenson (left) built an apartment laboratory at the University of Washington that was dubbed the “Love Lab” by the media. It was notably profiled in Blink, Malcolm Gladwell’s #1 best seller, and has been featured by Dateline NBC, BBC, The Anderson Cooper Show, TIME Magazine, and The Atlantic.
Over many years they observed hundreds of couples and noted their facial expressions, heart rates, blood pressure, skin conductivity, and the words they used in conversation with their partners. They discovered that low-risk couples maintain a “magic ratio” of five positive interactions to every one negative interaction during conflict.
In 1996, Drs. Julie and John Gottman co-founded The Gottman Institute to bring this research to the world. In 2015, Drs. John and Julie Gottman asked Carrie Cole, a Master Trainer for the Gottman Institute, to be the Institute’s first Research Director.
In February of 2018, the Gottman Love Lab was re-imagined by The Gottman Institute in the heart of downtown Seattle and opened its doors to the public for the first time.
University of Washington Gottman Love Lab Video
Watch a video about the original Gottman Love Lab at the University of Washington.