>> he’s by himself. critic john gottman. >> and you know, it’s the small gesture or the small beds that are the most important moments. and, you know, when i talk about a bid, it’s you know, it’s did you look up from your phone. >> when your partner walked in the room, this one is huge. i hear about this all the time. and, you know, you know, did i ask my partner how that meeting went today at work? >> and really, actually. listen to their answer with interest, you know, did did i tell lean into my partners choke even though we fought last night, i’m still. you know, it’s funny because the phone thing is so prevalent. yeah. and i caught myself not long ago misinterpreting my husband’s bid. he works so hard and he tends to lay out on the couch at night. that and how he’ll be phone. scrolling. and when i walk look up at me and we have a