Under the guise of “healthy communication,” I was actually destroying my own relationship.
All of the constructs I grew up with and believed I would carry on in my own family had to be thrown out the window. As much as I would like one, there is no guide on how to be a stepfamily—we are all too different.
Thanks to a combination of sobriety, introspection, therapy, and Kate’s support, I’m feeling more comfortable showing up authentically both inside and outside this relationship.
Everything I thought I knew about myself, my faith, my friendships, and my family was put on tilt when I decided to be true to who I am and pursue that woman.
Sometimes, we are a hetero couple, sometimes a gay couple, but most of the time we live outside of the established labels altogether.
I found myself feeling like there was a different kind of connection forming, beyond best friendship. Could this be?
He may never understand exactly how I’m feeling or what it’s like to be in my shoes, but he knows when to speak up and when to stay quiet—to listen and learn from me and others with different experiences.
The deeper I fell, the more fearful I became, and the more I looked for imperfections.
Judgments dehumanise and minimise the beautiful greyness of being human.
Marriage was a fancy house we hadn’t been invited into and we wanted to dance on the sofa in muddy shoes.
I am grateful for the independent self that was fostered in our marriage as I carve a lone way forward through this surreal new world.
How can a life that feels so peaceful and content to me be so nauseating to others?