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Couple arguing with one partner showing defensiveness.

The Four Horsemen: Defensiveness

Ellie Lisitsa

Defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner.

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Couple arguing with one partner rolling eyes- a sign of contempt according to Dr. John Gottman.

The Four Horsemen: Contempt

Ellie Lisitsa

Contempt is the worst of the four horsemen. It is the number one predictor of divorce, but it can be defeated.

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Couples arguing using criticism, one of Dr. John Gottman's 4 horsemen.

The Four Horsemen: Criticism

Ellie Lisitsa

The first of the Four Horsemen, and likely the most common, is criticism.

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Couple arguing where one partner has arms crossed which Dr. John Gottman calls stonewalling.

The Four Horsemen: Stonewalling

Ellie Lisitsa

The last, but certainly not least, of the Four Horsemen is stonewalling.

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10 Things My Mom Told Me as a Kid That Give Me Confidence as an Adult

Parent Co.

My mom did so much for me growing up and still does. But more powerful than any one single thing she did is the internal voice she sewed deep inside of me.

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Mother with teen child gardening together

Mindful Parenting: How to Raise Kind and Conscious Teens

Aziza Seykota

Mindfulness can help you connect with your teen.

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Talking with your teen

Talking with Your Teen: 10 Tips for Meaningful Connection

Rachael Coughlin

The teenage years can be challenging for parents and kids, but having meaningful connection can lead to better outcomes.

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Bid Busters: Ways You Unintentionally Turn Away from Connection

Satira Streeter

The people you love are making bids for your attention. Can you hear them?

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Couple with challenging behavior in therapy

Challenging Behaviors in Couples Therapy

Kendra Han

How to deal with gaslighting in couples therapy based on the presentation by Dr. Dana McNeil, PsyD, LMFT, CGT.

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Success in couples therapy with arguing couple

Keys to Success as a Couples Therapist

Kendra Han

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Stonewalling vs. The Silent Treatment

Stonewalling vs The Silent Treatment: Are They The Same?

Kari Rusnak

What’s the difference between stonewalling and the silent treatment?

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Image of couple talking. How to listen without becoming defensive.

How to Listen Without Getting Defensive

Kyle Benson

8 ways to listen non-defensively and improve communication.

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