Introducing the Gottman Love Lab Experience from The Gottman Institute, the world’s first science-based relationship evaluation service.
Using validated questionnaires, emotion coding, state-of-the art equipment, and proprietary software developed specifically for the Love Lab, in one day we are able to pinpoint the strengths and challenges in your relationship, and provide specific recommendations to positively adjust the course of your lives together.
Your Day in the Love Lab
Prior to your Gottman Love Lab Experience, you and your partner will both complete an online relationship questionnaire, which will be personally reviewed by the Love Lab Director in advance of your appointment.
Here’s what you can expect from your day in the Love Lab.
Plan to arrive at The Gottman Institute in downtown Seattle at 8am. After being greeted by Carrie Cole, the Love Lab Director, you will discuss the history of your relationship and how you met. Carrie will then meet with each of you individually to explore your family of origin and personal history.
You’ll both be connected to the lab’s wireless, state-of-the-art physiology equipment that will measure your heart rate, pulse transit time, respiration, skin conductance, and facial movement. You’ll be guided through two brief conversations with each other, which will be video recorded for analysis.
You will view video playback of your conversations and rate them using the famous “Gottman Rating Dial.” You will then break for lunch where a reservation has been made for you by the Love Lab Assistant. Stroll nearby Pike Place Market and the Seattle waterfront while your data is analyzed and coded.
After lunch, you will meet with the Love Lab Director who will review all results with you, highlighting the strengths and challenges in your relationship. Using mathematical models to simulate the current trajectory of your relationship, you will receive specific recommendations on what you can do to address those challenges in order to build a more fulfilling life together.
You will receive an extensive, 36-page personalized report to take home with you. If desired, you will also receive guidance and referrals for follow-up or continued treatment with a Gottman-trained therapist or another therapist of your choosing in your area. Plan to depart from The Gottman Institute at 6pm.
Our Dynamic Evaluation
Our dynamic evaluation draws from more than 10,000 data points to scientifically measure three primary domains in your relationship: friendship, conflict, and shared meaning.
Friendship: A deep friendship is the foundation of every good relationship. This means knowing each other intimately – being well versed in each other’s thoughts, feelings, hopes, aspirations, dreams, values, and goals.
Conflict: Conflict is natural in relationships. Couples with healthy conflict management skills are gentle toward one another, start conflict discussions without blame, accept influence, self-soothe, repair and de-escalate, and make compromises.
Shared Meaning: A relationship is about building a life together, a life that has a sense of shared purpose and meaning. Couples create meaning together in many ways, including creating formal and informal rituals of connection.
Frequently Asked Questions
Couples who are really struggling in their relationships will learn exactly what the problem areas are and gain insight about how to manage them.
Couples who are experiencing distance and isolation from one another will learn how to re-connect.
Couples who are in new relationships can learn about potential issues while they are still small and prevent them from getting worse.
Couples who are in strong relationships will receive confirmation about their positive habits and will learn how to stay on the right track.
You will learn the very specific strengths and challenges of your relationship and what you can do to build a strong future together. You will see the trajectory of your relationship if you continue on the same course without making any changes.
If your issues are still small, you will learn how to pre-empt trouble, rather than waiting for big trouble to set in.
You will learn how to respond more quickly and effectively with your partner, and you will learn how your communication style impacts your heart rate and overall physiology.
We use state-of-the-art wireless MP-160 physiological data collection equipment designed by Biopac Systems, Inc. in conjunction with innovative software and hardware developed by Noldus Information Technology.
We also also use a 10-category emotion observational system designed by Dr. John Gottman called The Specific Affect Coding System (SPAFF). These systems enable us to observe, measure, and analyze behavior between a couple. Biopac Systems integrated the famous Gottman Rating Dial into the data collection equipment.
The fee for the Love Lab Experience is $4,500. A deposit of 50% is required at the point of reservation. Full payment is due 30 days prior to your appointment.
Payment arrangements are made with the Love Lab Assistant. Credit card or PayPal payment can be completed online or over the phone.
Cancellations can be made up to 30 days prior to your scheduled Love Lab Experience with a $500 cancellation fee. Deposits are non-refundable within 30 days.
Your experience can be rescheduled one time, however the new date must be within 3 months of your original date. Fees for rescheduling are $150 if done prior to the 30 day window, and $250 if the change is made in the final 30 days.
It will take about 10 hours from arrival at 8am to departure at 6pm. You will have a break for lunch at one of our nearby fine dining restaurants as arranged by the Love Lab Assistant.
The Love Lab is located at The Gottman Institute in the heart of downtown Seattle, Washington.
Our address is 2101 4th Avenue, Suite 1750, Seattle, Washington, 98121.