… joke that breaks the tension or a gentle “Can I say that differently?” mid-sentence.
A 2015 study published in the Journal of Family Psychotherapy shows that the most effective repairs happen early in conflict, often in the first three minutes. These early, pre-emptive repairs, as lead author Dr. John Gottman highlights, are about restoring emotional connection using repairs that are deeply human. These include shared humor, affection, taking responsibility, empathy and gently signaling, “We’re okay.”
And often, they’re not consciously thinking, “Now let me de-escalate this.” It’s more like emotional …