When we launched the Gottman Sex Blog last fall, we couldn’t have predicted the overwhelmingly positive response that we have received from our readers. In only a matter of months, we have already been nominated by About.com for 2012 Marriage Blog of the Year! With that said, we are proud to announce that we will be completely overhauling the Gottman Sex Blog in order to better meet the growing needs of our users.
The all-new Gottman Relationship Blog, which will launch next week, will provide practical, research-based tools and strategies to strengthen and repair marriages and relationships. Our postings will no longer be limited to topics of intimacy and sexual health in committed relationships. Instead, we will be opening up the conversation to all aspects of Dr. Gottman’s 40 years of groundbreaking research with couples.
The Gottman Relationship Blog will be a virtual reflection of the “Gottman Theory for Making Relationships Work.” Research shows that to make a relationship last, couples must become better friends, learn to manage conflict, and create ways to support each other’s hopes for the future. Drs. John and Julie Gottman have shown how couples can accomplish this by paying attention to what they call the Sound Relationship House, or the seven components of healthy coupleships:
- Build Love Maps: How well do you know your partner’s inner psychological world, his or her history, worries, stresses, joys, and hopes?
- Share Fondness and Admiration: The antidote for contempt, this level focuses on the amount of affection and respect within a relationship. (To strengthen fondness and admiration, express appreciation and respect.)
- Turn Towards: State your needs, be aware of bids for connection and turn towards them. The small moments of everyday life are actually the building blocks of relationship.
- The Positive Perspective: The presence of a positive approach to problem-solving and the success of repair attempts.
- Manage Conflict: We say “manage” conflict, rather than “resolve” conflict, because relationship conflict is natural and has functional, positive aspects. Understand that there is a critical difference in handling perpetual problems and solvable problems.
- Make Life Dreams Come True: Create an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her hopes, values, convictions and aspirations.
- Create Shared Meaning: Understand important visions, narratives, myths, and metaphors about your relationship.As we transition from the Gottman Sex Blog to the Gottman Relationship Blog, we are recommitting ourselves to strengthening and repairing your relationships. In order to do this, we need your help. We want the Gottman Relationship Blog to be an open forum. Help us to help you by engaging with us, as well as with other couples and therapists, by responding to our postings with your thoughts, concerns, and questions. If you are uncomfortable commenting publicly, you are welcome to privately message us. We encourage you to share with us what works and what doesn’t.
We will be expanding our weekly Featured Blogger Series to include postings from experienced Certified Gottman Therapists (CGTs). We hope that you have found the distinct perspectives of our Featured Bloggers so far to be both interesting and beneficial to your relationship or clinical practice. If you are interested in being featured, please do not hesitate to contact us about the exciting opportunity to become part of the conversation.
Thank you for your patience during this period of expansion. This is a very exciting time at the Gottman Institute, and we hope that you will join us as we transition from the Gottman Sex Blog to the Gottman Relationship Blog.