drs john and julie gottman says that in couples it should be five positives to every negative i’ve traveled all around the world talking about and i ask people what do you think the ratio is for your child your partner or whoever your student for every one positive thing they hear how many negatives do they hear and the ratio is a minimum of ten two seventy five or one hundred which is unbelievable to me and so if you have received that and you’re sensitive and it’s going to be a lot harder for you to even engage in this conversation so you want to feel that there’s a lot of safety and that there’s nothing wrong with you because you’re sensitive that’s really important to convey that message that sensitivity can be a strength when i was growing up my whole family was always telling me i was too sensitive you’re so sensitive and even today they say stop being so