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The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling

Being able to identify the Four Horsemen in your conflict discussions is a necessary first step to eliminating them and replacing them with healthy, productive communication patterns.

The Four Horsemen: Stonewalling

The last, but certainly not least, of the Four Horsemen is stonewalling.

The Four Horsemen: Contempt

Contempt is the worst of the four horsemen. It is the number one predictor of divorce, but it can be defeated.

The Four Horsemen: Criticism

The first of the Four Horsemen, and likely the most common, is criticism.

The Four Horsemen: The Antidotes

Luckily, for every Horseman of the Apocalypse, there is an antidote.

The Four Horsemen in the Parent Child Relationship

Parents need to be aware of negative dynamics entering the relationship with their children.

The Four Horsemen: Defensiveness

Defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner.

The Criticism Defensiveness Cycle

One of the most common of the Four Horsemen is criticism. The Four Horsemen are what Dr. John Gottman calls … Continued

Gottman Relationship Coach: How to Make Your Relationship Work

Research-based Foundations for a Lifetime of Love.  The Gottman Relationship Coach is an inspiring and educational multimedia experience designed to enhance the well-being of relationships. Participants will be guided through research-based tools and communication skills that can transform relationships—all based on the popular Gottman Method. The first program, “How to Make Your Relationship Work”, is now available and includes:

  • The Gottman Method and How to Make Your Relationship Work
  • How do we predict the future of a relationship?
  • How to build a Sound Relationship House
  • What to do when the destructive Four Horsemen enter your relationship

“Buy Now” will take you to GOTTMAN CONNECT to purchase and view this product.

Clinician’s Digital Tools

This digital set collects some of our most effective, straightforward, and immediately useful materials included in our Clinician’s Toolkit.

Therapy Sessions: Live

Filmed in Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman’s private practice office, these uncut sessions clearly show how to integrate key Gottman Method … Continued