Gay and Lesbian Couples

In separate lines of research, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman have observed the strength and resilience of same-sex couples—even in the midst of the cultural and social stresses to which same-sex couples are uniquely vulnerable. These couples—like all couples—need and deserve tailored, research-based support when they are in distress.

Together, the Gottmans have a commitment to assuring that lesbian and gay couples have resources to help strengthen and support their relationships. Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman made a key contribution to research on daughters of lesbians: her work showed that daughters with lesbian moms do just as well as those raised by straight moms. Dr. John Gottman conducted the first of its kind longitudinal study of gay and lesbian relationships using multiple methods and measures. He was able assess the emotional strengths and weaknesses of the relationships, and to learn what makes these relationships more or less stable.

Private Therapy. At the Gottman Institute we have established a support center consisting of a group of Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapists™ specially trained by Drs. John and Julie Schwartz Gottman. We are able to make referrals for therapy with Certified Gottman Therapists™ who have extensive experience and training in working with same-sex couples.

What We've Learned: What Makes Same-Sex Relationships Succeed or Fail? Dr. Gottman and his colleagues conducted a twelve-year study of same-sex couples to learn what makes same-sex relationships succeed or fail. The research demonstrates that all couple types—straight or gay—have many of the same problems and the same paths to staying happy together. But research has shown that there are also some qualities of strength (like humor and ability to calm down during a fight) that are especially key to same-sex couples.

Take the Relationship Quizzes
How Well Do You Know Your Partner? One of the most important features of successful relationships is the quality of the friendship. Do you know your partner’s inner world?

Bids for Connection. In Dr. John Gottman’s apartment lab at the University of Washington, he studies how people interact with one another under everyday circumstances. He has discovered that “bids for connection” are the fundamental element of emotional connection and that happy couples “bid” frequently. This quiz helps you assess your “bidding style.”

Gottman’s Gay and Lesbian Couples Research in the News We’ve collected links to interviews and coverage on gay and lesbian couples research and workshops. Read articles from gay and lesbian media as well as the mainstream press.

Weekend Workshops for Couples  Unfortunately, due to financial constraints, we needed to cancel our 2003 weekend workshops specially designed for same-sex couples.  We do encourage and welcome ALL couples in a committed relationship to attend one of our other weekend workshops, The Art & Science of Love, presented by Drs. John and Julie Gottman.  Our couples workshops have always been inclusive, and many same-sex couples attend.  For more information on these workshops, please click on the link above.