By Daniel B. Wile PhD
"...unique in its detailed description of the moment-by-moment thoughts and feelings that a hypothetical couple goes through in coping with their relationship problems....I highly recommend it to therapists but also to researchers interested in the impact of concealing personal feelings in relationships." --Contemporary Psychology Review
An analysis of a single night in the life of one couple, this book reveals the internal monologues, self-recrimination, and hopes of each partner, and shows therapists how to use this insight. What starts, escalates, and rekindles fights--and also, what potentially allows for a useful conversation about a fight? The author explains that partners court trouble when they insist that they are not fighting, and lists 44 accusing and defensive responses to help partners recognize a fight. Wile also describes his own thoughts and doubt while doing therapy, and offers alternative responses to unhelpful self-talk.